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Outrospection

by Mike Noegraf

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Under An Oak, Crash Test 25 Split EP, Outrospection, Even panthers have a heart, No time for seasons, Even tigers have a heart, and Safe & Sound. , and , .

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1.
I was only four when you left for good. Forced to accept the truth, I had to raise myself alone. I wasn’t sure to remember you as someone I really knew or just as an illusion. My goal wasn’t to fade away too. Building myself though I’m missing you. And I let go of my pain following my dreams. Giving to my sons the love I’ve been missing. I went from door to door until I filled up the blanks.
2.
A crack on a frame has turned to a chasm. I realize higher is the top, longer is the fall. You’re still here everytime I close my eyes. And your laugh is still rocking me at night. I’m quite lost, the schema isn’t what it was supposed to be. It took me time to write it down. But it seems you never reply to me. Of course I am angry and I am sad. I reckon you’re selfish, Probably cuz I don’t get why. And the clock keeps on ticking down, While my world stopped turning round.
3.
Don’t think about me, I won’t try to let you go. Don’t think about the rain, stray far from your ego. Deep down I know, you’re doing well my friend. Have I the right to give up and collapse ? Life’s a weird fight we’ll never win by faking smiles. I’m so tired to play a role I’m not made for. Every word moves me away to something new. I wish I could stay strong enough to brave the swell to get Back to the shore. If life’s a trial and love’s a trap. So then, let’s dive straight into it all. I cursed you everytime that you were gone.
4.
Mermaid 02:17
I won’t let you go to the shore. I won’t take the risk to see you sink. I won’t even try tonight, just let you slowly fade out into the sea. And the moon reflected by the muddy waves. I’m about to draw the link to our skins. As long as I stay here and wait for hours to hold your hand. It’s unfair that we live in two different worlds on a same planet. Let me in, let me breathe, Until my lungs are filled with water, until I suffocate. I’ll never forget that day, You were beached. Then I heard you singing a song for me. I got paralyzed like I have never been, trapped in your arms, Giving me all I needed.
5.
“ How many years does a man live? ” Let me Guess, let me try to give you the right answer. “ Is it about a lucky wheel? ” Losing your mind if this could only be for real. I just wanna believe, That I could make the promise of being here forever. I know all of your fears, Would I be able to make them stop spinning around? I’ve had the same tears when I was your age. “ This means one day you’ll be gone? ” Then I saw the sadness in your angel eyes. If I could freeze time for once, At least I’d try to make you believe it would last forever and ever. I don’t wanna cry. I wanna take you away with me on a satellite. I know it’s heartbreaking, but it’s also my part to help you to get older. I’ve had the same tears when I was your age.
6.
Lay down, close your eyes. Feel the air flowin’ into your mind. Tame your fears, there’s always another round. Push the pedal to the floor. Crossing bridges, over the borders. We were the same, we were young, In the silence, with medicine as friends. Skin and bones, the toughest part’s to admit that you’re not alone. Feed your spirit, there is no wall you cannot climb. Equal in death, don’t wait for her, it’s a waste of time.
7.
The wave 03:28
To be alright is what I used to fake. Wearing a mask when all is raining down. Feeling lonely while being surrounded. Smiling on the surface, making Believe I’m fine. And I can’t avoid the wave that brings me far from the shore, Though I try to swim. On the edge, the people I love stand, watching over the storm, they don’t see that I’m drowning. Depression is a process I know well. Lost in my thoughts, I can barely communicate. I hear you yelling out, I can’t get a word you say. Like summer time, my glory years are gone. Slave to a box where my failures belong.
8.
Moving west 03:43
Someone told me there’s a secret place, Where we could drop off all of your pain. Turns out there’s a hidden door, Easy to open as the key is in your soul. Please, I need you there. Shine bright like the sun I used to stare at. An emotional whirlwind is making us float and sink. Moving west, Keep on chasing the signs even under the moonlight. Swallowing the bitterness and rising up from battlefields. We have to be humble and steady. Love’s the best weapon against heart attacks. The moon prides itself on showing us the way when the sun starts to go down.
9.
Black birds 02:23
I see some black birds heading to the South. I wish I could join them for a ride and see from the top. Feeling free for once without being attached. Spreading my wings to go further from what I am. I see some neon lighting up the roads. Some of them are off but still, I can see my path. And avoid the scary point of a no return. Still on my way to reach your home tonight. For sure, I can hear that I’m wrong, I see the way it goes, don’t lie to me, will we crash into a wall? Building our own faith through our destiny. Let’s prove to the world, together we can be.
10.
Scott 02:57
My sweet little boy, I swore to your brother I would write you a song. Between laughs and foolery, You grew up too fast as I grew old too Young. You’re making everything go faster though I still see you falling in slow-motion. Of course, you’ll always be more than welcome home son. One day you’ll turn sixteen, Locking your bedroom door, acting like a weirdo. Between fights and thoughts, I’ll be an open ear to listen to your doubts. If you need anything, you can ask your old man, Then we’ll meet around a drink. Then I’ll tell you the story, About how you made me change, I’m at your service humbly.
11.
Watching the sunset, the way I did back then. Enjoying the fading light that taught me to never forget. Every shade from blue to red, every single laugh we shared. I’ll always keep them written deep down in my heart. Thanks to you my dear for having made this real. Playing late with the kids from my childhood made me feel, For the first time, an incurable feeling called Freedom, Called unconditional love. We were playing games as if it would never end. Too soon to say farewell, let’s meet up there, same hour, same place. Breathing the sweet air of a nice day of summer, Brings me back to the backyard where I spent my years of carelessness. Though we took a different path, I still remember you. Hanging out like nothing really mattered but joy.
12.
I won’t let you go to the shore. I won’t take the risk to see you sink. I won’t even try tonight, just let you slowly fade out into the sea. And the moon reflected by the muddy waves. I’m about to draw the link to our skins. As long as I stay here and wait for hours to hold your hand. It’s unfair that we live in two different worlds on a same planet. Let me in, let me breathe, ‘Till my lungs are filled with water, ‘till I suffocate. I’ll never forget that day. You were beached. Then I heard you singing a song for me. I got paralyzed like I have never been, trapped in your arms, Giving me all I needed.
13.
To be alright is what I used to fake. Wearing a mask when all is raining down. Feeling lonely while being surrounded. Smiling on the surface, making Believe I’m fine. And I can’t avoid the wave that brings me far from the shore, Though I try to swim. On the edge, the people I love stand, watching over the storm, they don’t see that I’m drowning. Depression is a process I know well. Lost in my thoughts, I can barely communicate. I hear you yelling out, I can’t get a word you say. Like summer time, my glory years are gone. Slave to a box where my failures belong.

about

"Outrospection".

Out on:
Sbäm Records (Au)
No reason Records (It)
Bearded punk records (Be)

Recorded at :
- Big dog recordings (Antwerp/Be) by Tim Van Doorn
- ATS Studio (Lyon/Fr)
- Bayside Studio (Lyon/Fr) By Phil Park

Mixed and Mastered @ Big dog recordings by Tim Van Doorn
Produced and arranged by Mike Noegraf/ TIm Van Doorn
All songs by Mike Noegraf.

credits

released November 12, 2020

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Mike Noegraf Lyon, France

Indie Folk - France

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